Sunday, January 31, 2010

Did I ... Did I ... Did I ...

I don't know whether or not all dogs have ADHD, but I do believe that most dogs instill OCD in their humans.

I will affectionately refer to leaving the house as a routine, but the truth of the matter is that it has evolved into Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.

Each time, whether I'm leaving for 5 minutes or 5 hours, I have to make sure:

1) Nothing I care about being crushed by anxious pit bull jaws is on my nightstand

2) The upstairs bathroom door is shut

3) The downstairs bathroom door is shut

4) The trash is out of reach or in the breezeway

5) The remotes are not lying around

6) Look at the crap, er, toys lying on the floor and decide what can be sacrificed.

And sadly, I have come to do it in that order. If by chance I drive away and can't remember if I have actually closed a door or taken out the trash, then I have to decide if I need to turn around and do it.

If you're a regular visitor here, you've seen the Remains of the Day. Hathaway gets into the trash. And spreads it across the kitchen floor.

The 62-pound lapdog with separation anxiety has also trapped himself in the bathroom twice. I needed new molding after the first time. Fortunately, I hadn't had the work done when it happened a second time, so now I still need new molding and a towel rack. Give him credit for being a smart boy: He pulled on the towel rack trying to get the door open. Resourceful, and yet, to paraphrase Bullwinkle the Moose, "Guess he doesn't know his own strength."

So I may not wash my hands over and over, or lock the door repeatedly, but I do find myself wandering from room to room, shutting doors and checking for "chewables." And often, by the time I've finished the circuit once, I can't remember if I actually did steps 1-3, so I have to start again.

Maybe Purina should commission a study of doggie-induced OCD. I'd volunteer, but there's a chance I'd be late for the appointments. It takes awhile to get out of the house.

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